Can somebody help me to analise this poem....?

Warning



When I am an old woman I shall wear purple

With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.

And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves

And satin sandlas, and say we've no money for butter.

I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired

And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells

And run my stick along the public railings

And make up for the sobriety of my youth.

I shall go out in my slippers in the rain

And pick flowers in other people's gardens

And learn to spit.



You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat

And eat three pounds of sausages at a go

Or only bread and pickle for a week

And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.



But now we must have clothes that keep us dry

And pay our rent and not swear in the street

And set a good example for the children.

We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.



But maybe I ought to practice a little now?

So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised

When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.



Jenny Joseph

Can somebody help me to analise this poem....?
what kind of things are you looking to analyze? theme, literary devices...?

I just had to break of with a man?

You see, he wants me and his wife too. He is separated and living in his own apartment as a single man. He wants a relationship with me and his wife is abusive too him. He served her papers and she wont sign them. She really wants nothing to do with him unless someone else takes an interest in him. He's a great guy as far as personnality and never abusive in anyway. Very kindhearted. But he wont proseed with his divorce. I love this man, but he needs to choose. I told him that and he tells me that I am putting to much pressure on him, he tells me to wait and it will eventually happen. I am an idiot. He really has become relaxed in having his cake and eating it to , if you know what I mean. He refuses to take me out and except one time and has never bought me flowers. So yesterday I told him it's been too long and I want to move on with my life. I am 41, single. no other men in my life, I have been told I am pretty and I deserve better. NO MORE!

I just had to break of with a man?
So is there a question here?
Reply:thats good...just stick to your guns....say what you mean and mean what you say. the only thing a bad man can do is stand in the way of a good one. get that loser out of your life.
Reply:Right on. You're doing the right thing.
Reply:ok....
Reply:Does he have kids ? if so, that may be the reason for him sticking around with the Ex or at least having to have a relationship with her. As for the guy, it's to hard to figure out what's going through his head. But from a guy in a similar situation, all I have is heart to give and if no-ones there to take it it difficult to do anything. He sounds like he picked the girl and is living with the mistake. I bet he cares for you deeply and needs to go through the ropes to get where he needs to be. I won't shut him out, give him time. If you like him, give some time and a chance to develop over time. As for the taking out on date thing, you got me ???? and on the flowers



If he's so kindhearted , where's the flowers ???? He needs to be thinking of you and may not be ..
Reply:Date someone else
Reply:Oh, please...



Grow up.
Reply:no matter how hard i try i will never understand women like you all i read was WAAAAA, WAAAAA, WAAAAAA you really need help!!!
Reply:you did the right thing good for you!!!!!
Reply:well,i guess you did right!!its better to move on with life instead waiting for someone who cant give you a status in society and expects you to be hanging around for his fancies to be satisfied!!
Reply:There is no pic of you on your 360.
Reply:GOOD FOR YOU!!! Let him deal with his problems. If he loses you, it's his lose. He is dealing with something that shouldn't involve you. I'm glad you are finally making the right decision to leave.
Reply:Yeah, you're an idiot.
Reply:it's really hard to break things off when you dont have anyone else to fill the gap...why dont you try weaning yourself from him?

try to find some other friends or join a club where people have some of the same interests you do so that you can eventually get away from him... i understand that he is a great guy but if he is ever "yours" you will always have that nagging doubt in the back of your head...if he did it to her, he might do it to me....i know from experience.......being alone is hard but being used is harder to get over
Reply:First of all your choice , I am sorry to say is not appropriate.A married man or woman should be morally responsible towards each other.You should not have disturbed them.Find a partner who is free from such responsibilities.You are making him put his both legs in two different boats and sail.What will happen he will fall into the water.

This reminds me of a story of a middle aged person with an aged wife and another young wife.The aged one plucked his black hairs and the younger one , got rid of his white ones,thus making him totally bald.

Contemplate on freeing yourself from this vicious triangle.
Reply:Move on and find some other GOOD guys to date. He is not going to leave his wife to marry you and if he does it will be never ending drama with her because if she is mad only when he is seeing someone she sounds psycho.
Reply:Good for you. You go girl.
Reply:so you just answered your own question didnt you?
Reply:I think you just answer yourself!!!

But if what you wanted was someone to agree with you.... I am the one...

You go girl!!!!
Reply:wheres the question

Is my soon to be ex in love or on the rebound?

My ex and I split in May but spent most of the year spending time together. Around December, we decided to go ahead and divorce and filed papers. Not long after she asked me if I was dating and I told her yes. She seemed a little hurt. Our anniversary came at the end of the month and I sent flowers. We went to lunch and she started telling me about the new guy she was dating, and asking me about my dates. The last couple of weeks she is telling me this guy is the love of her life and were done. I've told her I still love her and am willing to fight for our marriage. Her friends feel she is fooling herself. I sent her an email telling her I am moving on but thanking her for showing me the changes I need to make to be better next time. She returned an email saying she is glad I am willing to change then describing how this guy loves her better than me, then turning angry saying she doesnt care what I change. Sound like a rebound to me and she still has feelings. Any thoughts?

Is my soon to be ex in love or on the rebound?
She still cares, HOWEVER, she wants to have her cake and eat it too. She sees characteristics in this other guy that she feels maybe make up for some of your shortcomings. Also, the first stages of a relationship is more exciting and causes more hormones and feelings to arise than an established relationship, so maybe she just likes that initial, new "in love" feeling. You're going to have to move on though.
Reply:In my opinion, you all should leave each other in the past. Going out to dinner, discussing who you all are dating, sending emails and you sending flowers should not have happened. Apparently, you all could not do these things during the marriage, so there's no need to start doing these things now. By doing these things, you both seems to be trying to hold on to something that's no longer there. Do you all have children? If so, then the only concern you all should have is the welfare of the child(ren). I find it childish that she tells you who she is dating and what the current boyfriend is doing for her. It is hard for me to say she is on the rebound because she may or may not. She may very well love this man (who knows other than her).



My thoughts are leave the past in the past. Since she is a part of your past then leave her there. Literally MOVE ON with your life. If you have to change your email address, phone number etc. than do so. Give yourself time to heal from the divorce before you get involved with someone else for you will find yourself "being on the rebound" as well. Don't look back at her and disassociate yourself with her personal life (who she's dating etc.) and don't let her into your business. I wish you well.
Reply:Maybe you should of tried to fix the marriage before filing for divorce. You had no problem when you went on dating, mmm doesnt seem like youve thought anything out. Shes saying this guy makes her happy and she loves him why not believe what shes saying? Is she a teenager playing games or a grown women? Move on with dating like you already did.
Reply:Umm...you filed for divorce, signed the divorce papers. You obviously didn't want this to end and she definitely clung on to the first guy that paid attention to her to spite you.



...but move on. So what if she is making a mistake?! Remember the reasons as to why you were divorcing in the first place...

flower arrangements

Is she my ex on the rebound?

My ex and I split in May but spent most of the year spending time together. Around December, we decided to go ahead and divorce and filed papers. Not long after she asked me if I was dating and I told her yes (though I wasnt). She seemed a little hurt. Our anniversary came at the end of the month and I sent flowers. We went to lunch and she started telling me about the new guy she was dating, and asking me about my dates. The last couple of weeks she is telling me this guy is the love of her life and were done. I've told her I still love her and am willing to fight for our marriage. Her friends feel she is fooling herself. I sent her an email telling her I am moving on but thanking her for showing me the changes I need to make to be better next time. She returned an email saying first she is glad I am willing to change, then how this guy loves her better than me, finally turning angry saying she doesnt care what I change. Sounds like a rebound to me and she is still hurt. Any thoughts

Is she my ex on the rebound?
sounds like she just went out and found someone because you lied to her and said you were. like she had to prove that she too is moving on. i doubt her relationship is anywhere as serious as she says it is or that she thinks it will be. she is very hurt by what you said. she has to prove she is better than you, that she can do better without you, and that she doesn't need you in her life. that is what she is doing.
Reply:Ok, I only had to read the first half of the paragraph to know that she's mean for even telling you about some other guy being the love of her life. 6 years later and my divorce still hurts. that's something you'll always have. Try to leave her out of your life for a while so you can heal and move on, then try being friends.
Reply:Both of you need to stop playing games! You're getting divorced now, so go through with it. She IS on the rebound, yes, but that is not your responsiblity, nor your concern. She wouldn't listen anyway. Move on in your own life, and let her live hers.
Reply:she is your ex, move on already and leave her be
Reply:you're the one hurt. get over her.. you learned how to be better that's all you can expect anymore so if you are going in with that in mind you are so much more better off as you come out right? OK then now that we are on the same page a rebound love is one who fills the void of being without right then within hours or days not almost a year she had plenty of time to work the audience (so to speak) she probably knows what she is doing more so than you? Try and let her go as soon as you can you will thank her for the clarity she gave your being and now you can move forward to find that one who truly is there waiting for you to be found...
Reply:Yeah probably, but does it matter? For you, I mean.
Reply:yes

How is this story?

Chapter 1







This was a night to remember. As usual when everyone was asleep I went outside for a walk. Creek! The wooden door needs a lot of fixing! But Dad doesn’t do anything about it! I’m just lucky enough that nobody knows I was going out. I go out for a stroll in the park and sit on the swings and just ponder. I was wondering what my real mother must be doing right now. Let me tell you everything from the beginning. I was born in Colorado. My mom and dad loved me very much. They had named me Kelly Del but one dark night, my dad got into an accident during a storm. I was only three then and it was hard for my mom to get out of this shock. So when I was about six years old my mom decided to put me into an orphanage home. She told me she was going away for a tour at work and she would come back to get me the very next day. But she never came back… I always thought that the reason she didn’t come back was because she wasn’t able to give me a normal living. But still I waited each and everyday, when their came one day, after almost one year later, that I was told I was going into a foster home. I was horrified. The family seemed nice…but then again…what better do I know? Mrs. Felon, who had been taking care of me for a year, took me into a bright room. There was Mr. Sheldon on the other side of the table, a man who was wearing a bright yellow shirt and jeans, a woman who was wearing a dark blue shirt with a brown scarf, and a girl wearing a flowered shirt and skirt who seemed almost my age. Mr. Sheldon told me to take a seat next to the woman. I sat down and Mrs. Felon sat next to me. They told me I had no other choice other then agreeing to live with the new family. But still they asked me if it was okay with me or not…I thought about what to say…I was really confused. If I didn’t have a choice then why were they making it seem like there was…I said to him “Well since you have already made the decision, what else can I say?” He said “Okay.” They all talked with each other. The man across the table told the family some information about me. Like, I was 7 years old; I’ve been living here for almost a year, my dad died when I was three and etc. The man and woman told the man “We don’t want to know anything more about her past other than her behavior. I mean, is she quiet, shy, mean, excited, etc.” The man said, “Well there is much to say about her…she is very quiet, but not shy, she is absolutely not mean! There hasn’t been anything that has lead her to become excited so I don’t think there is much to say about that. But she has been a pleasure to have around here.” He gave me a quick smile. I hadn’t ever seen him in my life. Than how did he know so much about me? I was getting a bit nervous, but then I thought that well, Mrs. Felon or someone else told him that. Than the women said, “Okay, we have made our decision! We have decided to take her into our home!” Everyone became very excited. Especially the girl! She said to the women, “Mommy! Mommy! Is she my new sister? Mommy!!?? Answer me! Is she my new sister?” Her mother said “Yes, Sammy! What do you want to name her? Do you want to name her Natalie?” I cried out “WHAT? You can’t change my name!! Mrs. Felon!! They can’t change my name right?” Mrs. Felon gave the man a look. She said “Well since you do belong to them now they can change your name!” The woman said “Honey, its okay. If you don’t want to change your name, than it’s fine with me! Now let me introduce us to you. I’m Sandy Howard, and I’m your new mother! This is my husband, you’re new father, Joey Howard, and this is Samantha Howard, your new sister.” I said sadly, “I have to change my last name?” Sandy said “Yes, you are our new daughter which means your part of our family! So now your name is Kelly Howard…now doesn’t that sound great?” I thought about it for a while. I do have to live with them now. Which means I will have to compromise something’s, even if it my name. “Okay Sandy, if that’s what you wish.” Sandy said, “Honey, you can call me mom! After all I am your mom now, right?” I said to her in a low voice “Okay, mom.” I never in my life had thought I would have to see a day like this one. How could I have let these people take the place of my parents? I was crying in the inside. But I don’t think anyone noticed. When Joey said, “Kelly, we understand that this is going to be hard for you, but we want you to be part of our family and this is something that you have to do. We know you might be too young to understand what I am trying to say. But hey, now you have your own sister! Here why don’t you come and sit next to Sammy.” I got up from my chair, and sat next to Sammy. I just looked at her. And she just looked at me. I said, “Hi, I’m Kelly.” She said, “Hi Kelly, I’m Samantha, Sammy for short. Guess what? I’m your new younger sister! We’re going to play together. And we’re going to go to the same school and…” I stopped her right there. “School? I’m going to go to school?” “Yes you are! You and Sammy are going to go to Stevenson School.” said Mom. I never thought that I would ever be able to go to school. I mean, I have gone to school before. But after what happened I never thought….But anyways, I was very excited about going to the same school as my new sister. I wanted to know all about her! So I started to ask her if she had something special she loved very much. She answered, “Yeah, Kelly! I have this bear. And I call it Mr. Bear! Isn’t that a nice name?” I didn’t answer. I was thinking about the bear my mom had given to me the day before I came here. I had called it Benny. Mommy had given it to me with so much love. Snap, Snap! “Kelly? What happened?” asked Dad. I said, “Nothing, I just remembered the bear my mommy had given to me the day before I had come here.” Sammy asked me again, “Kelly! What do you think of my bear’s name?” I said to her “I think that’s a very nice name.” Mom told Mr. Sheldon that she and Dad would come tomorrow to sign some of the leftover papers. They said to me and Sammy, “Let’s go kids. Come on Kelly, we’re going to show you your new home.”

















































Chapter 2







I was very scared. My life changed that very moment, because I thought that I would never get to see my mother again…and I would never get to know the secret of why my mother sent me here in the first place. They had a very nice dark blue colored Chevrolet. I sat in the back seat next to Sammy and wore my seat belt. I didn’t even know what happened after I sat in the car because I fell asleep the very next minute. When I woke up I saw Kelly sleeping in the bed next to mine. The room had light pink paint. There were pretty stickers up on the wall all around us. The wall was right next to mine and on top of the bed someone had placed many teddy bears of all colors. There was also a small TV across the room. Half of the room was filled with Sammy’s pictures and the other half of the room was empty. Right then, mom stepped into the room. She greeted me with a bright, “Good morning, Kelly!” I replied with an excited, “Good morning, mom! Is this also my room?” “Yes, of course. As you can see half of the room is filled with Sammy’s pictures. And now the other half will be filled with your pictures. We will capture every moment of happiness with you. And I promise there won’t be a tear in your eyes from now onwards.” I gave a warm smile. She reminded me of mommy. I was so happy now that I had gotten a chance to live with this awesome family. All of a sudden, from behind her hands she took out a camera and said, “Say cheese Kelly!” I was so surprised! She then told me to go into the bathroom and get ready, because after breakfast she was going to give me a tour of the house and take me outside

How is this story?
About the first chapter... At the beginning, the story is in past tense. Then right before the "flashback," it's changed to present tense. That makes it a lot harder to read. Also, I thought it was kind of weird that you described the flashback in such great detail, but wasn't very descriptive in the first few sentences.

Other than that, it's pretty good!
Reply:I really like this, it's not bored at all.

but in my mind I keep thinking, is this story soon gonna be about the new dad sexually assaulted the kids he adopted.

Please....I hope not. 'cause I'm really don't like that kind of story.

keep writing....

all the best for yaa.
Reply:wow! this story is great! it rocks! i no i read this before but i read it again just bcause it was that guuuudddddd!!!!! im working on mine 2! its about a grandma who owns an orphanage and tells them stories every sunday evening! 1 day she tells them her own story and at the very very end the children grow up and realize that that was the grandma's life story! its really cool!!!! ill mail it 2 u! but anywayz i love ur story. I know that the story isnt that smooth but it isnt because its in a 7 yer old point of view!!!!!

ily

bye
Reply:long and nice...
Reply:It's so good! I think you need to work on it a little bit to make it sound smoother. I also noticed that you wrote "I saw Kelly sleeping on the bed next to mine." isn't the story from Kelly's point of view? Well, I guess you got confused. Happens to me a lot. But other than that, it's awesome! I love it. keep writing. I really want to read the rest of the story!
Reply:it's to long to read for me!!!!!!! sorry

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What are grandparents...?

WHAT IS A GRANDPARENT?



(taken from papers written by a class of 8-year-olds)



Grandparents are a lady and a man who have no little children of her own. They like other people's.



A grandfather is a man %26amp; a grandmother is a lady!



Grandparents don't have to do anything except be

there when we come to see them. They are so old

they shouldn't play hard or run.



It is good if they drive us to the shops and give us money.



When they take us for walks, they slow down past things like pretty leaves and caterpillars.



They show us and talk to us about the color of the flowers and also why we shouldn't step on "cracks."



They don't say, "Hurry up."



Usually grandmothers are fat but not too fat to tie your shoes.



They wear glasses and funny underwear.



They can take their teeth and gums out.



Grandparents don't have to be smart.



They have to answer questions like "why isn't God

married?" and "How come dogs chase cats?".



When they read to us, they don't skip. They don't mind if we ask for the same story over again.



Everybody should try to have a grandmother, especially if you don't have television because they are the only grown ups who like to spend time with us.



They know we should have snack-time before bedtime and they say prayers with us every time and kiss us even when we've acted bad.



A 6 year old was asked where his grandma lived. "Oh," he said, "she lives at the airport and when we want her we just go get her. Then when we're done having her visit, we take her back to the airport."



Grandpa is the smartest man on earth! He teaches me good things but I don't get to see him enough to get as smart as him!



It's funny when they bend over, you hear gas leaks and they blame their dog."

What are grandparents...?
That's cute! I just became a granmother 3 weeks ago! I'm only 43 though!

flower

Should we grow old gracefully?

Personally:



When I am an old woman I shall wear purple

With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.

And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves

And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.



I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired

And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells

And run my stick along the public railings

And make up for the sobriety of my youth.



I shall go out in my slippers in the rain

And pick the flowers in other peoples' gardens

And learn to spit.

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat

And eat three pounds of sausages at a go

Or only bread and pickles for a week

And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.



But now we must have clothes that keep us dry

And pay our rent and not swear in the street

And set a good example for the children.

We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.



But maybe I ought to practice a little now?

So people who know me are not too shocked

Should we grow old gracefully?
Dylan Thomas said it best:

"Do not go gentle into that good night,

Old age should burn and rave at close of day;

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,

Because their words had forked no lightning they

Do not go gentle into that good night.



Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright

Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.



Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,

And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,

Do not go gentle into that good night.



Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight

Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.



And you, my father, there on the sad height,

Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.

Do not go gentle into that good night.

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.



"
Reply:i'm growing old very very disgracefully !!!!
Reply:absolutly!! Im gonna still colour my hair,i may have a purple rinse,hitch up my mini skirt and show off my blue cheese legs,abuse my free bus pass,and stick my fingers up to all the young people,Hell,why not!!!hehe
Reply:I shall grow old (dis)gracefully;
Reply:no I think we should all act as young as we feel %26amp; this poem says it all

I have no intention off growing old gracefully
Reply:WOW! Who wrote this? One would have to imagine it was you, from your presentation.

I'm kooky anyway, at 29, and sometimes entertaining for it, and sometimes eschewed. Oh, well!

So, no, don't grow old gracefully, don't practice now.

BE now.

My boyfriend loves to quote from a show I don't even know- "If i could be,

If I could be for just an hour,

If I could be for just an hour everyday,

Cute, Cute, Cute

in a stupid *** way."

LIVE NOW!

Or for your stress, your heart disease won't let you walk outside and spit and pick other people's flowers at all!
Reply:I have seen this poem before, if not this one, one almost identical, we read it in the 6th.form at school. I shall be exactly like this lady, except it will be jeans and stiletto-heel boots. Who said grandmothers had to be old and ugly? Who said they can`t ride cross-bar on a bike etc etc?There is no intention on my part ever to grow old and grey in mind or body.
Reply:what's so graceful about Matlock and false teeth?!
Reply:I love that poem and I intent carrying on her good work and growing old disgracefully and having fun just like she suggests.
Reply:Do not go quietly into that cold dark night.
Reply:Go quietly?...heck no.....i live by one phylosophy....to be seen, you have to make a scene......
Reply:I think so. Most of us do; it's mainly Hollywood that gives another impression.



I like to believe that even if I had money to burn on plastic surgery I would choose not to do anything. Good thing that theory is unlikely to be put to the test!
Reply:It's a fine poem but your traits come with you when you are born and they remain with you till you die
Reply:That's cute... but who says you can do some of those very English things now? What does butter and saten sandals have to do with anything. Also if you eat three poounds of sausage when you're old you WILL say hello to hemorrhoids...
Reply:Excellent! Just like you, I'm intending on being granny from hell. My dad is 73 and he really became the old fella from hell and the authorities wouldn't even throw the bugger into prison because he is 'old and frail'. What a load of horsefeathers! They can get away with anything (well, almost).
Reply:I certainly intend to be bad, bit scary as I do most of it already!!!!

Alison, growing old disgracefully!!!!!!!!
Reply:The hell I'll grow old gracefully! I intend to look as good as I can for as long as I can!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was invited to a red hats picnic, as someones guest. It's all in good fun, but not for me!
Reply:Hell, no!
Reply:If you get the opportunity to grow old - and let's face it, many don't - then you have earned the right to do it your own way. Provided that is within the law and doesn't overly impinge on another's freedoms.
Reply:of course,u need to.Old people are not suppoisse to be ugly %26amp; forgotten,they are there to remind us about past,but also to live in the future,I know many old people that are luckier now,more than in times they were young
Reply:Wonderful prose! Send it in to a magazine, they must be aching for stuff like this. Good luck!
Reply:I have every intention of being the mad, bad, potty, everyone's favourite Auntie! Oh - I already am!



Life should not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a well-preserved attractive body, but rather to skid in sideways chocolates in one hand, champagne in the other thoroughly worn out, screaming "Woo Hoo - what a ride"!



If you can't set a good example, then be a horrible warning!

How do I get a plaque for a WW2 Vet?

My dad fought in WW2 and passed away a few years ago. We were told he wasn't able to get a monoment because he already has a tombstone. I didn't question it till I went to visit his grave on Memorial Day and all the war veterans had flags on thier graves provided by the cemetary to honor the vets. He didn't have a flag because he didn't have a memorial plaque. I felt just horrible for him. My father was so proud to serve in the war and yet he wasnt reconized because there was nothing to let anyone know he was a vet. There were flags on more than 100 graves and my father had nothing. I left him flowers but he deserves to be reconized, he was so proud of his military days. Any help to get him a military plaque for his tombstone (what do I need..I have his dischage papers and everything) It is horrible that he fought for us and no one cares. He was a proud man and deserves some honor. Please help.

How do I get a plaque for a WW2 Vet?
Call your local "service officer" and they will help you to apply for a military marker for your father. I had to do the same thing in 2003 for my dad.



Application for a marker or headstone, under the above conditions, must be made using the VA 40-1330 form, which must be filed out in its entirety. This form is available at any VA regional office, on the U.S. Veteran Information (non-governmental) website, or by calling 800-697-6947. When filled out, the 40-1330 form must be forwarded to:



Director

Memorial Programs Service (403A)

Department of Veterans Affairs

810 Vermont Ave. N.W.

Washington, D.C. 20420
Reply:this place can make you one..



http://www.allamericangifts.com/
Reply:Go to any major funeral director and they will be able to tell the office and tele # re. how to get both the big Flag and plaque your Dad is entitled to....I think the government office is in St. Louis...The government is real good about doing this...You may need some sort of soldiers ID number--like a DD1# or something...
Reply:Apply to his service, or through your Congressman.
Reply:Try your local Veterens chapter, or write a letter to the Army (or branch he served in) or Ebay sometimes has some authentic stuff.



Good luck and thank you to your dad and his family for his service.
Reply:You can also to the Veteran's office with his papers. They can help you. If you don't have a Veteran's Affairs office close, you can also go to an active duty base for any service, and their Personnel office should be able to help you.

get well flower

How best to deal with a grieving soon-to-be-ex-spouse?

My wife's an attorney, and I read in today's newspaper that she lost the big case she had been working on for months. This case added so much stress to herself: It led to her gaining weight, binge drinking, and, even perhaps, having an affair with a local loser (known appropriately as Timdawg). In fact, this case she had been working so hard on, it could be argued, changed her in a way that led to our separation. Her clients were convicted on all counts and should be seeing life in prison. Worse for my wife, the prosecutor on the case has accused her of witness tampering, as she had allegedly used Timdawg to try to intimidate a witness into not coming forward. Now, also, she doesn't have my stabilizing influence or the kids. Geez, her life is falling apart.



Our divorce papers should be completed soon. I don't want to send her a mixed message, but feel I should send her flowers or something. Is that silly? Have you ever felt sorry for a bad ex-spouse and wanted to cheer him/her up?

How best to deal with a grieving soon-to-be-ex-spouse?
You don't send roses to someone who lost a case, you send chocolate!



If you want to send roses then make them black ones.



I am glad to hear that the clients were not allowed to walk...breaking the law is breaking the law no matter what high powered attorney you hire. Can we all say it together..."OJ".



She's a big girl. Let her reflect and see for herself what she worked so hard for. I know that you now know that an affair would have happened at some point with her...you didn't do anything to trigger her behavior. If it had not been timdog it would have been someone else sooner or later.



You two are still living together right? Have dinner ready. Simple gesture, taking the high road, trying to maintain some amount of a family unit. I know you don't hate her...it is almost impossible to hate a stranger and that is what she has become to you now. Even so, strangers are people too.
Reply:hugs Report It
Reply:Let it all go dude...it'll seem like such sour grapes now.
Reply:You could be the bigger person and do this. If anyone should be able to cheer her up in any it should be you. Chances are her co-workers wont, the timdawg won't,



Go a head, show her that you can be a good person. Maybe she'll see what a bi*ch she has been to you.
Reply:Leave her alone.
Reply:Leave the cheering up to Timdawg, Miz, G-Money and Gangsta Doggie-Dog.



You fascinate me. Are you a sub? Don't lie...I can tell you are.

Guys like you seem to love degradation.
Reply:leave her be
Reply:If you think she is hoping that you two get back together, do not send the flowers. It would get her hopes up of reconciliation. That would be cruel. If, on the other hand, you don't think she has any hopes or desires for you two reconciling, then go ahead and send the flowers with a note. You could always just tell her that you're sorry to hear she lost her case that she worked so hard on. It's normal that you are on an emotional roller coaster right now. This is a very hard thing to go through. I've heard it likened to a death, and it is very much like that in a lot of ways.
Reply:Let Timdawg buy flowers for her.
Reply:well.....it is good to know that you do have some feelings......



that is only normal.



send the flowers..... and a nice message..... saying.... sorry for the loss of your case...... hoping things get better for you.
Reply:it's OK to feel bad for her. you guys have shared a lot together. but don't give up on the divorce because of it. she will try to get you back before it is final. prepare yourself for that one.



i went through a very similar situation and you just need to let her self-destruct on her own.



let Timdawg worry about her from now on and think only of the kids.
Reply:I think it is commendable that in your heart you feel for her in what sounds like a very difficult time for.



I don't know though, something is telling me that you shouldn't touch it.



Unless you are trying to save your marraige. If that's the case then send her the flowers or let her know how you feel.



Good luck with everything.



(as an aside, I read your profile... as a working artist you are living my dream!! my compliments for creating a living out of what I'm sure is an incredible passion)

Do you ever remember your dream so well you could tell it like a story? If so please share.?

I had a dream about my friend, it goes like this: My mom and Iwere taking him to doctor to get him a checkup, and so we went there and waited in the waiting room. All of the sudden he gets up and starts knocking papers around, and pushing and shoving people out of the way. He escapes out of the exit of the docotor's office, and he starts running down the street frantically when it is pooring rain! I chase after him and my mom calls out to me to come back, but I keep going. I search and I search, but I couldn't find him. My mom catches up with me in her car and gives me a ride home, and says that she is sorry that this has happened. Later that day, I hear the doorbell ring, and I somehow knew it was him because we have this glass door with flowers, and diamond shapes on it and it's blurry and I see a dark figure.......and in my mind I'm like it's him without even opening the door. So I open the door, and he looks so sweet and innocent, and he apologizes for leaving like that. I give him a hug, and he kind of just stands there for a while, and then he hugs me back. We walk down the stairs from my porch, and just stand there in the rain not saying anything to each other, nor looking at one another. After that I woke up.

Do you ever remember your dream so well you could tell it like a story? If so please share.?
I was in a shaving contest and everyone was watching. Then my guy friend wanted me to go with him to get a water gun. I went. My other friends were in a car and asked me what i was doing. I said " I'm supposed to be shaving", then I lost the contest. And i went back to where it was held and started over. But i had the hairest legs EVER!!!!! it was like a bush. So i lost again. then i woke up.

Would you let your husband design the baby room??? Why or why not?

My husband is a huge Ohio State fan and we are decorating the baby room in a Ohio State theme (Reds, Grays, Whites, and Blacks). We've found some great bedding, wall papers, toys, and all kinds of things. I was just wondering if anyone else would ever let their husband decorate their baby's room. We also had an Ohio state wedding-complete with red flowers, gray dresses, and a football field grooms cake!



This is a link to the bedding that we have choosen.

http://kidsarefanstoo.com/nohstcrbe.html

Would you let your husband design the baby room??? Why or why not?
Chances are...no.



There's very little my husband can decorate, and that's why he has a man cave. He can do whatever he wants with it and I won't say a word.
Reply:Sounds like your obsessed...Other than that its normal to let your hubby do it.
Reply:Sure as long as I agreed with him :) Seriously I think its fun to design the room together but my hubby has come up with the themes in all our kids rooms.
Reply:Maybe he likes Ohio State???? J/K If you have no problem with it then I dont see why not. You may however get bored with the theme early on. Most people go neutral instead of all out so their nursery lasts until their babies are toddlers and have a sense of style on their own. (Dora, Diego, Blues CLues, etc)
Reply:I see it like this the guy only has three jobs while the woman is carrying w/ child and that's: work , make the child (with your help of course), and carry the heavy stuff. It would be a nice thing to let him also part take in how the baby's room should be decorate but, let's be serious now Ohio State everywhere in the room that would be a NO!! Tell him that you could have some OhioState things in the baby's room but, not the whole room how does he know if the child is going to be a boy?
Reply:Not my husband yet. We have a little girl right now. I am about give birth to a boy and when it is time to decorate his room I will let my husband do it. A real close friends of ours decorated there son's room with The Cleavland Browns stuff!! It is really cute for a little boy and it is something that he may never grow out of!!!







By the way the bedding is really cute!!!!
Reply:I won't let him design the whole room by himself.....I'll have some input of course. If we have a boy he'll pretty much be designing the room and if it's a girl I'll be doing most of it because he's not into doing any kind of girly stuff.
Reply:My fiance and I were thinking about this last night,

and he said he wanted to help out with a little bit.

Like all the painting colors and all.Which I'm perfectly fine with as long as he doesn't put some crazy colors.He said that I can get the crib and plan all the rest.

Can any one explain this behavior?

My wife and I are in the final stages of a divorce in 30 days. I ran into to her friend today and found out my wife has been lying about our interactions. Like before we filed papers we took a vacation in October, she told her friends she went alone. Last month we had lunch after I sent her some flowers for our last anniversary. She told her friend she hadn't seen me. I have offered to try at our marriage but she is obviously hiding her hurt feelings and wont let me know if she still cares or not. At least thats what I assume. Why all the lies to her friends about being with me?

Can any one explain this behavior?
she's a player who got everybody fooled but you on what the truth is. Get rid of the LIAR..there are too many GOOD women out there
Reply:I think she wants to portray the illusion that she's moved ahead with her life. That she is a strong and independent woman to her friends. If she tells that she went on vacation with you and saw you on your last anniversary that shatters the image she's trying to have. I don't think she's a game player. I think she's a very confused woman right now She's trying to pretend to be something she's not in the hopes of acheiving it. I am sorry she's not willing to try to save your marriage. Good luck
Reply:not sure, but i would call her on it!
Reply:Separation can be an ugly thing...I am sure she has said enough that she can't condone being seen with you in a civil circumstance...so she lies about it. I bet if she hadn't said so many evil things about you she wouldn't go through with the divorce.
Reply:Most likely her friend knows all the details about you and your wifes marriage. She probably does not want her friend to come down on her for seeing you, so it is easier to lie about it.
Reply:It sounds like it may be too late for trying to improve things, sorry to say. I think you should ask her why all the lies. Just to get peace in your mind. Good luck!
Reply:looks like she still wants you in the picturee, but doesn't wanna expose you to the world. Also, i believe that she wants to keep her options open, and if she can't find anyone else to replace you, then she will come running back to you. Trust me.
Reply:Okay. There is a reason you two are getting divorced. Before that decision was made, your wife talked to her friends about all the reasons you were horrible and why she wanted to get divorced. When you two have moments of closeness, your wife may feel these feeling for you and she is hiding them from her friends because they probably agreed with her "crap" talking about you with them and told her that she would be better off without you, etc., etc. Now she is in a rock and hard place because her friends agreed with her that she doesn't like you and she can't go back on what she said to them to tell them the truth about your intimate moments together. Call her on it. I did the same thing when my husband and I separated and my friends were very unsupportive when we got back together because of me spilling my guts to them about my problems. I know better now.
Reply:Your wife is trying to assume the reality of the end of your relationship. My question to you would be - why do you care? If you're in the final stages of divorce it should not matter what she doesn't tell her friends.
Reply:Sounds like she is trying to convince herself that it's over, or she really doesn't know herself what she wants. If there was so much passion, why are you getting a divorce?
Reply:I think its more out of confusion herself , most people that are headed down the road to divorce dont have lunches together, dont go on vacations together and dont celebrate their anniversary together, its not really the point of getting divorced dont u think, and id imagine that she probably has told people and got a weird response back from them.. like "ummm if ur doing all this with him, why are u getting a divorce" to the point that it may embarass her to tell people that u and her are still having a semi relationship, as alot of people feel if ur capable of having that much of a relationship then u shouldnt be getting a divorce in the first place, so she's probably gotten alot of back lash for it.. so she has figured its better to just keep that private between u and her..
Reply:That's strange. Most women talk to their friends unless, she's partners with the friend now or she's going with someone that the friend is close to, like a brother or cousin. Maybe she just don't want anyone into you all business. I would think about what the friend said and remember the expressions on the friends face when you revealed that you had been with her and sent her flowers. What did the friend say? Go back and talk to the friend and then talk to your wife. Good luck. Oh it sound like she is confused right now. The divorce might be out of hurt and / or shame. It depend on what bought on the divorce. FYI... your divorce is null and void if you all have been together as a couple within the year of separation( check the law in your state ). Meaning if you had sex with your wife and you tell the judge, the divorce won't go thru. If nobody lied and cheated and all it was is '' allot of passion'' then there's no reason for the divorce, unless she just want out. Scorpio will forgive you, they tend to be really stubborn. My sister is one and you might want to go ahead with the divorce. SERIOUSLY!!! They will lie allot. So... if you want closure, you should ask her, but leave the friend out of it.

anniversary flowers

Do you want to know what kids say on their test papers and essays?

* "When you breathe, you inspire. When you do not breathe,

you expire."



* "Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes, and

caterpillars."



* "Blood flows down one leg and up the other."



* "The moon is a planet just like the earth, only it is

even deader."



* "Artificial insemination is when the farmer does it to the cow

instead of the bull."



* "Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire."



* "Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas."



* "The body consists of three parts -- the brainium, the borax and the abominable cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowels, of which there are five -- a, e, i, o, and u."



* "The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects."

Do you want to know what kids say on their test papers and essays?
Priceless!!
Reply:So...why exactly did you post this in the pregnancy section?
Reply:Umm, interesting. :-)
Reply:and your point is?????

Should I be worried about going to jail (immigration/marriage-related)...

Ok, I'm 22, my soon to be ex wife is 26. We live separately in Bronx, NY. Been married for about 3 years or so, separated for about 1 year, shes an immigrant from Jamaica and shes pulling some manipulative s hit here, shes trying to stop the divorce in order for her to stay here.



I met her when I was 19 from the internet and she was doing the Amway/Quixtar business. She put the idea in my head that if we got married and "joined businesses", we could be profitable together, she said I should consider dropping out of high school to get my GED so I can spend more time on the business. Stupid enough I did and I eventually married her six months after meeting her. We did it at City Hall, only witness was her mother and stepfather. She also told me not to tell my dad about it, eventually I did tell him a year later I finally grew enough balls. He was SO PISSED.



The marriage spiraled very quickly - I discovered she was a very messy person, VERY, so messy it would take more than 1 person to clean the house, and despite my efforts to do so (one day I spent 9 hours cleaning the entire craphole and put flowers on table) she messed it up all over again eventually. Argued alot, she twisted my words around, we have no kids, no property, I never hit her or anything like that, she did slap me one time though. She didnt wanna go out anywhere, kiss, hold hands, none of the stuff you get from normal relationships. She also wanted to handle the finances too, ALL of it because she didnt trust me for some stupid reason. I discovered she was prostituting herself and cheating on me the whole time while we were married, I have PLENTY of proof from emails and photos too, VERY juicy evidence. She's also a supervisor for an ILLEGAL locksmith company (Dependable Locks) that moved to Florida. She loved to humiliate me in front of people as well, like sticking out her hand and asking in front of everybody "Can I have your wallet!?" in order to pay for something.



So me, my dad, and my new girlfriend (who is actually a citizen and is my soulmate or rather a FEMALE version of me, literally speaking) plotted to have the whole divorce go through behind her back without her knowing about it. We delievered the papers of course and all she did was laugh. But we went ahead anyway because she didnt wanna do it, she wanted to stay married until March 08 so her temp greencard could become permanent, file taxes TOGETHER one last time, then get divorced. To hell with that! I filed divorce papers with We The People under Constructive Abandonment, she abandoned me every time I attempted to save the marriage, she didnt even wanna do marriage counseling! There was no sex, she had a bleeding prob too, no matter how many times I INSISTED she should see a doctor, she said no. She didnt want my help for ANYTHING. She doesnt have proof though that we did this divorce thing behind her back, but I have tons of proof about the hooking, illegal company, etc.



So she took this whole thing to a lawfirm and the letter states she thinks "abuse" may be involved, WHAT ABUSE!? LOL! And that a VAWA (Violation Against Women Act) Immigration Petition should be filed. Violence... sure... SHE is the one WHIPPING her "clients", giving them BJs, golden showers, etc. Her so called lawyers dont know about that YET.



But anyways, should I have any reason to be worried? I've been with my new girl for almost a year now, we get along so perfectly, have a beautiful place, handsome relationship and we both work together. Its everything opposite of this crappy marriage I was in. I dont think theres anything I should worry about because we have SO MUCH we can use against her. But just wondering....?

Should I be worried about going to jail (immigration/marriage-related)...
Be very very worried. She sounds like a person that will stop at nothing to get her green card. Do not let her stop the divorce papers. You need to file them as soon as possible, and report to immigration that the process for divorce is started.

I feel for you, this is not a good situation



Good luck
Reply:My good God, I hope you get out of this soon. That was no real marriage, I am so sorry for you that this girl fooled you.

Call USCIS and tell them the whole story, get your divorce papers through and get her out. Good luck with your new girl, I hope 2008 will get a lot better for you! Thanks for sharing this

Should I be worried about going to jail (divorce/immigration-related)?...

Ok, I'm 22, my soon to be ex wife is 26. We live separately in Bronx, NY. Been married for about 3 years or so, separated for about 1 year, shes an immigrant from Jamaica and shes pulling some manipulative s hit here, shes trying to stop the divorce in order for her to stay here.



I met her when I was 19 from the internet and she was doing the Amway/Quixtar business. She put the idea in my head that if we got married and "joined businesses", we could be profitable together, she said I should consider dropping out of high school to get my GED so I can spend more time on the business. Stupid enough I did and I eventually married her six months after meeting her. We did it at City Hall, only witness was her mother and stepfather. She also told me not to tell my dad about it, eventually I did tell him a year later I finally grew enough balls. He was SO PISSED.



The marriage spiraled very quickly - I discovered she was a very messy person, VERY, so messy it would take more than 1 person to clean the house, and despite my efforts to do so (one day I spent 9 hours cleaning the entire craphole and put flowers on table) she messed it up all over again eventually. Argued alot, she twisted my words around, we have no kids, no property, I never hit her or anything like that, she did slap me one time though. She didnt wanna go out anywhere, kiss, hold hands, none of the stuff you get from normal relationships. She also wanted to handle the finances too, ALL of it because she didnt trust me for some stupid reason. I discovered she was prostituting herself and cheating on me the whole time while we were married, I have PLENTY of proof from emails and photos too, VERY juicy evidence. She's also a supervisor for an ILLEGAL locksmith company (Dependable Locks) that moved to Florida. She loved to humiliate me in front of people as well, like sticking out her hand and asking in front of everybody "Can I have your wallet!?" in order to pay for something.



So me, my dad, and my new girlfriend (who is actually a citizen and is my soulmate or rather a FEMALE version of me, literally speaking) plotted to have the whole divorce go through behind her back without her knowing about it. We delievered the papers of course and all she did was laugh. But we went ahead anyway because she didnt wanna do it, she wanted to stay married until March 08 so her temp greencard could become permanent, file taxes TOGETHER one last time, then get divorced. To hell with that! I filed divorce papers with We The People under Constructive Abandonment, she abandoned me every time I attempted to save the marriage, she didnt even wanna do marriage counseling! There was no sex, she had a bleeding prob too, no matter how many times I INSISTED she should see a doctor, she said no. She didnt want my help for ANYTHING. She doesnt have proof though that we did this divorce thing behind her back, but I have tons of proof about the hooking, illegal company, etc.



So she took this whole thing to a lawfirm and the letter states she thinks "abuse" may be involved, WHAT ABUSE!? LOL! And that a VAWA (Violation Against Women Act) Immigration Petition should be filed. Violence... sure... SHE is the one WHIPPING her "clients", giving them BJs, golden showers, etc. Her so called lawyers dont know about that YET.



But anyways, should I have any reason to be worried? I've been with my new girl for almost a year now, we get along so perfectly, have a beautiful place, handsome relationship and we both work together. Its everything opposite of this crappy marriage I was in. I dont think theres anything I should worry about because we have SO MUCH we can use against her. But just wondering....?

Should I be worried about going to jail (divorce/immigration-related)?...
Get yourself a lawyer. You might want to entice her into a one-on-one discussion (with a little recorder in your pocket, and get her to admit some things very personal about herself). You can figure that you might get into some trouble.....but in her case....she will be deported.



If you want the easy way out.....suggest a meeting and come to an agreement. Ever how long it takes for her to clear the "stay in America" hurdle....agree to that point, and get her to agree to a simple divorce once the point has been cleared. Don't even think NY divorces....you can find easier states. The deal would simply be that you help her just enough, and she agrees to no harassment.



And that bleeding problem? She has serious health issues and it might be very serious. Based on the type of evening activities you suggest that she is into....she might be a prime candidate for AIDS. So this is pretty serious.
Reply:I would not be very concerned. When you are married, you take vows and it sounds like she took advantage of a naive boy ( no harm intended!) She married you to come here or be here legally. I hope things work out for you. Report It

Valentines day is around the corner Need Help Please!!!?

We both are 25, engaged and just started living together 1 month ago. The other day I noticed some papers in the garbage that where ripped in half. Me be curious I looked at them. One of the papers where from her diary 2 years ago. It read " Today was Valentines day and Jeremy(the guy she was dating at the time not me) got of work early bought me flowers and cooked me a fancy Tia meal and had champaine and chocolate covered strawberries. It was the best Valentines day I have ever had.



Well to make a long story short we have been together for 1 year on Febuary 24th, 2008. Well I was going to make this big dinner for Valentines day (because it is our first together and I wanted to top "her best Valentines day") for her but she surprised me my telling me that we are going out to dinner with some friends Valentines night which is okay. I still want to do something extra special. Please help me top her Valentines day experience.

Valentines day is around the corner Need Help Please!!!?
Tiffany %26amp; Co. Godiva chocolates. La Perla lingerie. Flowers.
Reply:one thought would be to fix her a really nice breakfast served in bed, and flowers,or take her out to a really nice place for breakfast. . The fact those papers were in the trash maybe shows she cares about you and the present more than she does the past. so i wouldn't try to compete with the past. just enjoy the present.
Reply:I think it is very sweet of you to want to give your fiancee a better Valentine's day than her ex did, but I think you are worrying unnecessarily.



The diary where she says it was the best Valentine's Day ever is ripped in half and in the bin. You are her present and her future, not him. Buy her a nice present, flowers, chocolates, whatever you think will please her, but don't worry about competing with this other chap. She wouldn't be engaged to you if she didn't think you were better than him. She'll have a better Valentine's Day with you than she did with him just because you are you.
Reply:you're competing with ghosts.

you'll never win.



what did that guy get after giving her the best v day ever?

an early exit?



get what i'm saying?
Reply:Try This site to get some ideas about Valentines Gift:



http://www.schoolmall.ca/valentines-gift...



Good luck with your Valentines!
Reply:Since valentines falls during the week have a belated valentines. call around and book a hotel room with a jacuzzi tub for saturday night. Pack a bag for her and hide it in the car and take her there. Go ahead of time and have the room set up for a candelight dinner and have the dinner you prepared in a cooler in the trunk. You get to have your dinner a nice relaxing bath and whatever else just make the most of it. She won't be expecting it since it is after the day and will blow her away.
Reply:Try to set up the home (maybe get a friend to help while you are at dinner) with flowers and candles everywhere %26amp; music playing , so that you can have a romantic surprise for her when you get back from having dinner.
Reply:Why not breakfast in bed? You can get up early, and even do most things the night before... I know I have done an over night french toast that you bake and it was AWESOME. Go the night before and get a bunch of her favorite flowers, and leave them in a place she can't find. Get some gourmet coffee (if she likes coffee, or tea, or whatever) to brew with her breakfast. Then, take it all up to her and wake her up with the most passionate kiss she has ever had.



I think that could beat her "best".

Books

My question is using nouns as modifiers.the name that acts like an adjective should be singular most of the ti

consider these examples:1-flowers that are grown in gardens are called: garden flowers 2-workers who go to work at nigh are called night workers 3- shops that sell books are called book shops 4-papers that have news are called :newspapers 5-stories that are about wars are called war stories 5-factories that make shoes are called shoe factories .....as you see we dont know when we should make the modifier ( the first noun singular -in fact sometimes we make it singular like shoes and sometimes we do not change it like news ,physics ) how should i me myself as a non-native english teacher that never faces native people should know this?if i know a point i know how masterfully deliver it to my students. does this point (nouns as modifiers )has a special rule or you decide it according to what you have heard among people? what should we do with this sentence? shops that sell jeans-shops that sell glasses -shops that sell gloves,scissors,.... and i warmly thank those dear natives

My question is using nouns as modifiers.the name that acts like an adjective should be singular most of the ti
A general rule is that the modifier should always be singular. You encounter exceptions to this rule when the modifier is a noun that is rarely or never used in the singular form -- news, scissors, eyeglasses, jeans. There are more words that behave like this (glove and shoe do not count because they are commonly used in their singular form) and you pretty much just have to memorize them.

Embaressed by death?

Have a question regarding a strange situation. A young woman in her late 20's/early 30's dies suddenly in a car accident. There is no obituatry in ANY of the papers (and this happened in the largest city in the USA) and her father does not contact all the friends in her mobile phone until 2 days after she was buried. (some were contacted in time to go to viewing and funeral but most of us didn't know she passed away until after she was already buried.) The father refused to give his address so we could send flowers saying "we don't want any flowers". 1 year later - there still is no headstone for her - and she's buried in a family plot where there is already a stone with the family name %26amp; the names of other relatives buried there. Why would her parent's being so "secretive" about her death? Not even a marker or adding her name to the family headstone after a year? No obituary? Not calling her friends until after she's buried? Why would someone do that? Help me understand.

Embaressed by death?
Embarrassed TO death.

Can some one translate these sonnet for me? pleaseeee ASAP?

From fairest creatures we desire increase,


That thereby beauty's rose might never die,


But as the riper should by time decease,


His tender heir might bear his memory:


But thou contracted to thine own bright eyes,


Feed'st thy light's flame with self-substantial fuel,


Making a famine where abundance lies,


Thy self thy foe, to thy sweet self too cruel:


Thou that art now the world's fresh ornament,


And only herald to the gaudy spring,


Within thine own bud buriest thy content,


And tender churl mak'st waste in niggarding:


Pity the world, or else this glutton be,


To eat the world's due, by the grave and thee.





II (Sonnet 2)





When forty winters shall besiege thy brow,


And dig deep trenches in thy beauty's field,


Thy youth's proud livery so gazed on now,


Will be a tatter'd weed of small worth held:


Then being asked, where all thy beauty lies,


Where all the treasure of thy lusty days;


To say, within thine own deep sunken eyes,


Were an all-eating shame, and thriftless praise.


How much more praise deserv'd thy beauty's use,


If thou couldst answer 'This fair child of mine


Shall sum my count, and make my old excuse,'


Proving his beauty by succession thine!


This were to be new made when thou art old,


And see thy blood warm when thou feel'st it cold.





III (Sonnet 3)





Look in thy glass and tell the face thou viewest


Now is the time that face should form another;


Whose fresh repair if now thou not renewest,


Thou dost beguile the world, unbless some mother.


For where is she so fair whose unear'd womb


Disdains the tillage of thy husbandry?


Or who is he so fond will be the tomb,


Of his self-love to stop posterity?


Thou art thy mother's glass and she in thee


Calls back the lovely April of her prime;


So thou through windows of thine age shalt see,


Despite of wrinkles this thy golden time.


But if thou live, remember'd not to be,


Die single and thine image dies with thee.





IV (Sonnet 4)





Unthrifty loveliness, why dost thou spend


Upon thy self thy beauty's legacy?


Nature's bequest gives nothing, but doth lend,


And being frank she lends to those are free:


Then, beauteous niggard, why dost thou abuse


The bounteous largess given thee to give?


Profitless usurer, why dost thou use


So great a sum of sums, yet canst not live?


For having traffic with thy self alone,


Thou of thy self thy sweet self dost deceive:


Then how when nature calls thee to be gone,


What acceptable audit canst thou leave?


Thy unused beauty must be tombed with thee,


Which, used, lives th' executor to be.





V (Sonnet 5)





Those hours, that with gentle work did frame


The lovely gaze where every eye doth dwell,


Will play the tyrants to the very same


And that unfair which fairly doth excel;


For never-resting time leads summer on


To hideous winter, and confounds him there;


Sap checked with frost, and lusty leaves quite gone,


Beauty o'er-snowed and bareness every where:


Then were not summer's distillation left,


A liquid prisoner pent in walls of glass,


Beauty's effect with beauty were bereft,


Nor it, nor no remembrance what it was:


But flowers distill'd, though they with winter meet,


Leese but their show; their substance still lives sweet.








VI (Sonnet 6)





Then let not winter's ragged hand deface,


In thee thy summer, ere thou be distill'd:


Make sweet some vial; treasure thou some place


With beauty's treasure ere it be self-kill'd.


That use is not forbidden usury,


Which happies those that pay the willing loan;


That's for thy self to breed another thee,


Or ten times happier, be it ten for one;


Ten times thy self were happier than thou art,


If ten of thine ten times refigur'd thee:


Then what could death do if thou shouldst depart,


Leaving thee living in posterity?


Be not self-will'd, for thou art much too fair


To be death's conquest and make worms thine heir.





VII (Sonnet 7)





Lo! in the orient when the gracious light


Lifts up his burning head, each under eye


Doth homage to his new-appearing sight,


Serving with looks his sacred majesty;


And having climb'd the steep-up heavenly hill,


Resembling strong youth in his middle age,


Yet mortal looks adore his beauty still,


Attending on his golden pilgrimage:


But when from highmost pitch, with weary car,


Like feeble age, he reeleth from the day,


The eyes, 'fore duteous, now converted are


From his low tract, and look another way:


So thou, thyself outgoing in thy noon:


Unlook'd, on diest unless thou get a son.





VIII (Sonnet 8)





Music to hear, why hear'st thou music sadly?


Sweets with sweets war not, joy delights in joy:


Why lov'st thou that which thou receiv'st not gladly,


Or else receiv'st with pleasure thine annoy?


If the true concord of well-tuned sounds,


By unions married, do offend thine ear,


They do but sweetly chide thee, who confounds


In singleness the parts that thou shouldst bear.


Mark how one string, sweet husband to another,


Strikes each in each by mutual ordering;


Resembling sire and child and happy mother,


Who, all in one, one pleasing note do sing:


Whose speechless song being many, seeming one,


Sings this to thee: 'Thou single wilt prove none.'





IX (Sonnet 9)





Is it for fear to wet a widow's eye,


That thou consum'st thy self in single life?


Ah! if thou issueless shalt hap to die,


The world will wail thee like a makeless wife;


The world will be thy widow and still weep


That thou no form of thee hast left behind,


When every private widow well may keep


By children's eyes, her husband's shape in mind:


Look! what an unthrift in the world doth spend


Shifts but his place, for still the world enjoys it;


But beauty's waste hath in the world an end,


And kept unused the user so destroys it.


No love toward others in that bosom sits


That on himself such murd'rous shame commits.





X (Sonnet 10)





For shame! deny that thou bear'st love to any,


Who for thy self art so unprovident.


Grant, if thou wilt, thou art belov'd of many,


But that thou none lov'st is most evident:


For thou art so possess'd with murderous hate,


That 'gainst thy self thou stick'st not to conspire,


Seeking that beauteous roof to ruinate


Which to repair should be thy chief desire.


O! change thy thought, that I may change my mind:


Shall hate be fairer lodg'd than gentle love?


Be, as thy presence is, gracious and kind,


Or to thyself at least kind-hearted prove:


Make thee another self for love of me,


That beauty still may live in thine or thee.





XI (Sonnet 11)





As fast as thou shalt wane, so fast thou grow'st,


In one of thine, from that which thou departest;


And that fresh blood which youngly thou bestow'st,


Thou mayst call thine when thou from youth convertest,


Herein lives wisdom, beauty, and increase;


Without this folly, age, and cold decay:


If all were minded so, the times should cease


And threescore year would make the world away.


Let those whom nature hath not made for store,


Harsh, featureless, and rude, barrenly perish:


Look, whom she best endow'd, she gave thee more;


Which bounteous gift thou shouldst in bounty cherish:


She carv'd thee for her seal, and meant thereby,


Thou shouldst print more, not let that copy die.





XII (Sonnet 12)





When I do count the clock that tells the time,


And see the brave day sunk in hideous night;


When I behold the violet past prime,


And sable curls, all silvered o'er with white;


When lofty trees I see barren of leaves,


Which erst from heat did canopy the herd,


And summer's green all girded up in sheaves,


Borne on the bier with white and bristly beard,


Then of thy beauty do I question make,


That thou among the wastes of time must go,


Since sweets and beauties do themselves forsake


And die as fast as they see others grow;


And nothing 'gainst Time's scythe can make defence


Save breed, to brave him when he takes thee hence.





XIII (Sonnet 13)





O! that you were your self; but, love you are


No longer yours, than you your self here live:


Against this coming end you should prepare,


And your sweet semblance to some other give:


So should that beauty which you hold in lease


Find no determination; then you were


Yourself again, after yourself's decease,


When your sweet issue your sweet form should bear.


Who lets so fair a house fall to decay,


Which husbandry in honour might uphold,


Against the stormy gusts of winter's day


And barren rage of death's eternal cold?


O! none but unthrifts. Dear my love, you know,


You had a father: let your son say so.





XIV (Sonnet 14)





Not from the stars do I my judgement pluck;


And yet methinks I have astronomy,


But not to tell of good or evil luck,


Of plagues, of dearths, or seasons' quality;


Nor can I fortune to brief minutes tell,


Pointing to each his thunder, rain and wind,


Or say with princes if it shall go well


By oft predict that I in heaven find:


But from thine eyes my knowledge I derive,


And constant stars in them I read such art


As 'Truth and beauty shall together thrive,


If from thyself, to store thou wouldst convert';


Or else of thee this I prognosticate:


'Thy end is truth's and beauty's doom and date.'





XV (Sonnet 15)





When I consider every thing that grows


Holds in perfection but a little moment,


That this huge stage presenteth nought but shows


Whereon the stars in secret influence comment;


When I perceive that men as plants increase,


Cheered and checked even by the self-same sky,


Vaunt in their youthful sap, at height decrease,


And wear their brave state out of memory;


Then the conceit of this inconstant stay


Sets you most rich in youth before my sight,


Where wasteful Time debateth with decay


To change your day of youth to sullied night,


And all in war with Time for love of you,


As he takes from you, I engraft you new.





XVI (Sonnet 16)





But wherefore do not you a mightier way


Make war upon this bloody tyrant, Time?


And fortify your self in your decay


With means more blessed than my barren rhyme?


Now stand you on the top of happy hours,


And many maiden gardens, yet unset,


With virtuous wish would bear you living flowers,


Much liker than your painted counterfeit:


So should the lines of life that life repair,


Which this, Time's pencil, or my pupil pen,


Neither in inward worth nor outward fair,


Can make you live your self in eyes of men.


To give away yourself, keeps yourself still,


And you must live, drawn by your own sweet skill.





XVII (Sonnet 17)





Who will believe my verse in time to come,


If it were fill'd with your most high deserts?


Though yet heaven knows it is but as a tomb


Which hides your life, and shows not half your parts.


If I could write the beauty of your eyes,


And in fresh numbers number all your graces,


The age to come would say 'This poet lies;


Such heavenly touches ne'er touch'd earthly faces.'


So should my papers, yellow'd with their age,


Be scorn'd, like old men of less truth than tongue,


And your true rights be term'd a poet's rage


And stretched metre of an antique song:


But were some child of yours alive that time,


You should live twice,--in it, and in my rhyme.





XVIII (Sonnet 18)





Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?


Thou art more lovely and more temperate:


Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,


And summer's lease hath all too short a date:


Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,


And often is his gold complexion dimm'd,


And every fair from fair sometime declines,


By chance, or nature's changing course untrimm'd:


But thy eternal summer shall not fade,


Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st,


Nor shall death brag thou wander'st in his shade,


When in eternal lines to time thou grow'st,


So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see,


So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.





XIX (Sonnet 19)





Devouring Time, blunt thou the lion's paws,


And make the earth devour her own sweet brood;


Pluck the keen teeth from the fierce tiger's jaws,


And burn the long-liv'd phoenix, in her blood;


Make glad and sorry seasons as thou fleets,


And do whate'er thou wilt, swift-footed Time,


To the wide world and all her fading sweets;


But I forbid thee one most heinous crime:


O! carve not with thy hours my love's fair brow,


Nor draw no lines there with thine antique pen;


Him in thy course untainted do allow


For beauty's pattern to succeeding men.


Yet, do thy worst old Time: despite thy wrong,


My love shall in my verse ever live young.





XX (Sonnet 20)





A woman's face with nature's own hand painted,


Hast thou, the master mistress of my passion;


A woman's gentle heart, but not acquainted


With shifting change, as is false women's fashion:


An eye more bright than theirs, less false in rolling,


Gilding the object whereupon it gazeth;


A man in hue all 'hues' in his controlling,


Which steals men's eyes and women's souls amazeth.


And for a woman wert thou first created;


Till Nature, as she wrought thee, fell a-doting,


And by addition me of thee defeated,


By adding one thing to my purpose nothing.


But since she prick'd thee out for women's pleasure,


Mine be thy love and thy love's use their treasure.

Can some one translate these sonnet for me? pleaseeee ASAP?
Translate to what?
Reply:translate? maybe you mean interpret. it's far too long. try reading it all and making a summary. then, interpret.
Reply:translate them to what?
Reply:I'll translate them for you, but it'll take me all night.


What're you doing, Shakespeare in Highschool or College?


If someone doesn't get back to you, look up the sonnets here:


http://www.sparknotes.com


http://www.http://absoluteshakespeare.com/





Hope that helps, sorry I sucked so hard. :(

Valentines Day help?

Ok so I wanted to send my gf a bouqet of flowers to her IN SCHOOL. Only problems is, my teacher and the principal don't like the idea of me and malissa (thats her name) going out, so they're always telling us to move away from eachother, or they won't let us correct eachothers papers. Sooo, what I am asking is, do you think they'll get pissed that I had someone come in and give her flowers? and if they do, what do you think they'll will do to us? What CAN they do to us?

Valentines Day help?
That depends on your school's size and whether or not it's a public, private or charter school.
Reply:Okay -- so I am a teacher, and I am wondering why the teacher and the principal have an opinion on who you date. Most schools have policies on Public Displays of Affection -- stuff like the one meter rule, no hand holding, and so on -- and I am also wondering if you and your sweetie are causing a disturbance in class, and maybe that is why the teacher discourages the interaction. You should not be conducting a romance in the middle of math class.



How old are you anyway??



In my school, we once had a bouquet of red roses delivered to one of our grade 12 girls -- everyone thought it was sweet. But if you are --say --13, maybe something a little less dramatic is in order.
Reply:Don't discuss it with your teacher, principal or anyone ....just do it. Have the card say:

"shhhhhh! To: _________From:_________ (let's keep it secret and make them wonder."
Reply:i doubt they'd punish you for it.

i had flowers delivered to me in class last year and the teacher knew the guy %26amp; i were dating and she didn't particularly care for him BUT she still thought it was an amazingly sweet gesture %26amp; there were no consequences for the class interuption...



sooooo i'd say go for it %26amp; i prob wouldnt ask for permission to do it...9 chances out of 10 they would discourage you, but if you go ahead %26amp; do it w/o asking i guarantee there would be less consequences than if you had asked %26amp; went ahead %26amp; did it against their will.

soap opera

My mom wants to take up sketching, in particularly to sketch flowers. What would be a good Christmas gift idea

besides like the basic utensils and paper pad.

My mom wants to take up sketching, in particularly to sketch flowers. What would be a good Christmas gift idea
maybe a easil. But you need to get her this special kind of color pencil called Prisma Color. It uses an oil base and you can blend it like paint and it is way better then regular pencils. Charcoal is nice... The nice thing about sketching though is that it does not require much to do it. Maybe if she gets good a sketching she can dive into some other medias like painting!
Reply:how about a how to book or something on sketching
Reply:Tell her you'll sit very patiently for an hour or two while she sketches you.
Reply:Go to a local craft store (big one like Michael's or AC Moore) and go to the artists section, find someone. Tell them you want to get an instruction book for sketching flowers and some sketch pad.



Good luck!
Reply:Just make her a Gift basket full of stuff from an art supply store.

Maybe a nice Easel.
Reply:If you look in book stores or artists' supply stores, you will find many books related to drawing and sketching, including those that focus on particular areas like nature, still life, flowers, (and animals, figure, landscapes, buildings, cars, etc.) Some of these have lessons that take the reader step by step through a few drawing while others have dozens of drawings to copy and work with (almost like a kids coloring book.) Get one that focuses on flowers that looks good to you in choices. Get a sketch pad the same size with a stiff back, get several pencils in various grades (or look in the front of the book and see what it suggests is needed) and get a nice cloth bag the right size to hold them all neatly with a little space left over. Some craft stores (or sections of bigger stores) will have kits for beginning drawing with instructions, a pad, pencils, eraser, stub, etc. packaged together. Simple instructions you don't get to examine before buying.
Reply:a set of different dencety pencils. Maybe water color pencils. She could sketch with them and then brush over them with water and blend it a bit.
Reply:An art book or maybe like some plants that she can sketch.
Reply:a toaster.
Reply:a sketchbook and some nice sketching pencils or eboni pencils and a mead eraser
Reply:U can try buying her different varieties of flowers in pots or vases, and a nice looking sketchbook, maybe some flower seeds that she could plant?
Reply:Charcoal. Its a blast to work with!

Go to an art store and ask them to set you up with a set, dont forget paper, under $20.
Reply:get her a nice instructional book for still lifes and flower drawing.

Embaressed by death?

Have a question regarding a strange situation. A young woman in her late 20's/early 30's dies suddenly in a car accident. There is no obituatry in ANY of the papers (and this happened in the largest city in the USA) and her father does not contact all the friends in her mobile phone until 2 days after she was buried. (some were contacted in time to go to viewing and funeral but most of us didn't know she passed away until after she was already buried.) The father refused to give his address so we could send flowers saying "we don't want any flowers". 1 year later - there still is no headstone for her - and she's buried in a family plot where there is already a stone with the family name %26amp; the names of other relatives buried there. Why would her parent's being so "secretive" about her death? Not even a marker or adding her name to the family headstone after a year? No obituary? Not calling her friends until after she's buried? Why would someone do that? Help me understand.

Embaressed by death?
huh, is this real? and what are u getting at? i can't think of a reason but mayb they killed her!
Reply:There would be a record at the police department if there was truly a car accident. Maybe you should hire a private investigator.



But since they are Catholic, I bet she committed suicide. That would be the reason for being secretive since it is a mortal sin.
Reply:ever think about the cost? my dad passed away a little over a year ago it was very costly, even going as cheap as possible.

many of the other answers are very good. and if the fact there is no headstone bothers u all that much you can always buy her one, and write an obituary for her yourself. death is never easy for anyone.
Reply:You have two things going... one, the death itself was traumatic. 2nd, it seems VERY likely that the family was not on good terms, and no one can be sure of what that reason was. Just as an example, perhaps the family was very rigid, and they felt the daughters friends did not meet their standards.. perhaps they may even have believed (right or wrong) that the friends might have contributed to family disagreements, etc.

I think the bottom line is that few of us on the outside can EVER be sure that we know the dynamics of a family. There are many families that appear (to outsiders) to be loving and "normal" (for lack of a better word). I can personally testify on that, but it moves away from what you are asking. Nor can many of us predict how a parent reacts or grieves when losing a child.

I am sorry for your confusion, which I can see, adds to the sense of loss. It doesn't fit what most of us would consider socially standard.. but it is also sometimes beyond our ability to predict or comprehend. IF you happen to know any of her relatives outside the immediate family, perhaps you could DISCREETLY mention your confusion, and sadness that you could not pay respects as you would have liked.

I don't know how or why... but I certainly hope that the parents are able to find peace concerning this.
Reply:**** REWRITE *****



I actually spoke to a funeral director about this situation and not surprisingly, was told that it is in fact absolutely normal.



First, a funeral home only provides an obituary (and then only a minimal one) if positively requested by the family. It is part of the very difficult paperwork filled in by a family member. Sometimes it is not requested because they have other plans (they will be providing one themself), sometimes it is just overlooked (the box not checked) and the funeral home will not question it, sometimes in cases such as this, while being forced to handle affairs, there is still a sense of denial in the family and an obituary conflicts with this emotion.



But the quick burial is quite common in these circumstances. What delays most burials (besides possible family desires for a public service) is that unless a person dies in the hospital under the care of a physician, there is a coroner's inquest. Sometimes an autopsy. This can take time. However, in the case of a car accident fatality, such an inquest would be limited to 1) Was the person alive at the time of the accident and 2) Positive identification of the body. The latter is the most difficult as this falls to a member of the family - likely a parent in this case. Also, the acquisition of a burial plot is a delay - unless, as seems to be the case here, such a spot is already available.



In the case of a car accident, sadly, the victim's body is often in a very destroyed state. The positive identification process can be devastating. Seeing your son or daughter "like that". Unfortunately, in these cases as well, there is nothing a funeral home can do to restore the body to anything that would be close to acceptable. It just isn't possible. It is very common in these cases to have a fast burial. It helps the family "forget" their last view of their child (in the post-accident state) and get back more quickly to rembering their child as they want to remember them - handsom, beautiful, the way THEIR child looked.



But really, the gist of what the funeral director said was that especially in the case of a car fatality, where the family already had a plot, and more certainly when the child was no longer at home and a daily part of their life, a quick burial is very common. Unless experienced, one cannot imagine what a victim of a car fatality can look like. To see a child this way, on top of the natural devastation of losing a child for any reason, just destroys a parent. Truly destroys them. They honestly just want to get through this and hopefully be able to remember their child as they want to remember them.
Reply:If her mother and father are her next of kin, then it's really up to them. Remember no matter what the circumstances of her death, they have their own way to deal with it. It may not be the best way, but to each his own. Why don't you and her friends get together and make your own tribute to her. Post a memoir poem about her in the obit. and I don't know much about your town, but in mine you can buy benches and have a marker put on them.
Reply:did she get along with her parents? did she ever talk about them? maybe she and her parents were estranged and maybe they didnt feel like she deserved the things that u mentioned. its hard to say without knowing them. or maybe theyre just so hurt they want to forget things they should do so it feels like it never had happened.
Reply:Are her grandparents or any aunts and uncles of hers nearby that you can talk to about this?? People grieve in different ways, but this sounds a bit too much for me. Her parents sound more like Muslims than Catholics (Muslims usually bury their dead within 24 hours) to me. Anyway--back to the aunts, uncles, etc--you might ask them if they are on good terms with the girl's parents, would they mind if you and her other friends chipped in and bought her a tombstone (if only to bring closure to you). But, have them ask the parents first. If that doesn't work, remember your friend each year by releasing balloons in the air (like those mylar type that don't break so easily and that have messages on them like "Missing you"), or having a party in her memory (doing things she liked to do, for instance).

I had a similar thing happen to me back in 1998. I knew my friend hadn't been feeling well, but I NEVER in a million years expected to get a phone call 8 DAYS after she'd died from one of her brothers telling me what had happened--she was having a liver transplant (which she survived), but died from excess water on the brain 3 days before Christmas. To top it off, they cremated her (which,to me, your soul goes to hell if you have it done), so I had no way to go visit her grave and tell her good-bye. I couldn't even get one of those little memorial folders they pass out at funerals to remember her by. If her brother hadn't come across my phone number in her address book, I'd never have been called about it. I tell you what, if 2 straight women could have women soul-mates, that is what we were to each other. It's like we could read each others mind sometimes, and we KNEW when the other one of us was ill.

There IS a marker where she's buried--cemeteries put these little tiny things in the ground so they will know someone is buried in that particular plot. All you'd be able to read are her name, age, and death date. I have a story about this, too. After my grandparents died in 1991, my Mother and I went to the cemetery where they were buried on the following Memorial Day, and I noticed this tiny marker sticking up out of the ground that had been there for almost SEVEN years. At first I didn't think anything about it, but after another 3 years had gone by I was beginning to notice there were NEVER any flowers on her grave, so my cousin and I "adopted" it. We began leaving flowers--even one seemed to help out--there. Well, one year I decided I'd had enough of it, so I practically stood on my head to read this tiny marker (now almost unreadable) to find out who was buried there. I found out it was a lady who'd lived almost 90 years and left all her money to a niece on one stipulation--that she buy a stone with part of the inheritance. The niece did--the type of stone you wear on your finger. Hearing that, I nearly blew my stack--I wrote to the records keeper of the cemetery and said if a tombstone was not at this lady's grave by the following year, that I was going to buy one for her. My letter was shown to the niece and it must have embarrassed her, because a tombstone was at her aunt's grave the next year. I still leave flowers there, too.

Back to your friend--maybe one of the other YA members was right. It could have been an "arranged" accident that the parents were part of, and their guilt is eating at them now. If so, their time will come when they have to meet their Maker and atone for any sins they committed.