Rate my poem please?

Hearts beat with the turning of gears- gears that work clocks /and awaken the world to that bleak hour of day/where the angels fly with wings mended with tape/and Lazarus walks with eyes that reflect the gray of the streets./The colors of the flowers are drowned /by the overwhelming ashen shades of the concrete /that crashes and collides with the buildings /and settles under the billboards/ like charcoal waves under a papier mache moon./Sounds rap on my window and wake me from my bed/I hold my breath to avoid inhaling that toxic certainty/of lives led in the buildings that pierce the skies and are /flooded by concrete; the contagious unison of breath

and mechanical hearts of those that walk the streets at dawn

whose thoughts and mouths are so filled by paper currency

that its rustle deafens them to the sounds of the birds,

to the symphonies of the soil and the melodies of the leaves.

They have lost their self-identies and sold their souls for free.

Rate my poem please?
i... really like this poem... wow... right from the beginning i had been interested in it and then by then end i was infatuated. i agree that it sounds a bit dark, however, it has a refreshing yet "mechanical" feel to it that i just cant describe!!!

i really liked it!!!
Reply:Great! your poem is good. But if you try to write your poem in short lines I think the reader will like to read it more than reading it in this way. Anyway I think you have created a very good and a creative poem.
Reply:"self-identies"



did you mean self-identities?

Pretty dark. I like it!

It reminded me of Poe.
Reply:wow