Is my marriage unhappy??? Does this sound right???

My wife cares deeply for me; she is always concerned with my feelings and happiness and tries really hard. Now, here's the problem- she hates sex with me (says it's messy), she's always anxious, complains nonstop about the smallest problems (ex. toilet paper on backwards, messy shed, etc.) I work very hard and try to do her bidding at home. She is a very light sleeper and I can't move an inch or she wakes up and complains. She's always worried and wants to sleep in seperate rooms. If she has an important project at work, my life is HELL. She's grumpy and moody. She hordes food and never shares anyhting with me. What shoud I do? Moments are amazing-most of the time I'm depressed. She hates flowers, gifts, going out. She is forever worried about her weight (she is very thin) and thinks that she is stupid, even though I've told her ad nauseum that she's great. What should I do-I miss sex, sweet nothings, passion-shoud I give it up-get it on the side, give up- keep going. Thanks

Is my marriage unhappy??? Does this sound right???
First tell her to stop hording the damn food. Then try to make her see a doctor. It sounds like she might have OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) or some type of anxiety disorder, and may be depressed. Try to communicate with her about whats going on in her life and how she feels.
Reply:Don't take this the wrong way but even though you said that your wife cares deeply for you and is always concerned with your happiness, this is just not the case (from what you describe.)



First question: is this new? Has she always been this way? Get her to a doctor for a complete physical as she might need some medical intervention.



She should definitely see a counsellor, therapist, whatever as she clearly has some serious issues.



Last, you have to decide if you are going to stay put through this as it must be brutal - and you must be terribly unhappy.



One more thing: when you suggest therapy or a doctor in the context of how unhappy you are, her reaction will tell you whether or not you will be able to stay. If she fights you on it, the information you should be getting is that she is more interested in hiding from her problems than in rescuing your marriage.
Reply:if u really love her and u know in your heart that she truly loves you. let her know how u feel tell her what your going through, and that it may change the way u feel about her. tell her u love her and that you want to be with her. but u also need companionship. if she doesnt try to work on it to keep you, then its obvious she doesnt love u enough to care about your feelings and needs.
Reply:she is displaying all the signs of depression. ask her to go to a conselor. tell her you'll go with her so she doesn't get offended when you bring it up.
Reply:Totally agree with skunk pie....she should not be feeling like that at all !
Reply:jus a bit akwardv wut r u doin wrong. sounds like shes got issues beyond the bedroom!
Reply:If everything your saying is true, it sounds like your wife needs some therapy. If she won't get it, you may need to re-evaluate the situation. Life is short, so do you want to live this way for the next 20 years? If the answer is no, you may just be prolonging the inevitable.
Reply:Maybe not. I think you have issues.
Reply:Yes your marriage is unhappy and I think your wife is unhappy also ask her to go for counseling
Reply:She has alot of issues..I'd see a marriage counseler
Reply:Have you tried to talk to her about this? How old is she? what does she do that makes you happy? I know I have a million questions. But you must decide what and how much you are going to take.

Try to tlk to her again, if she is not willing to try to meet you half way on some of these issues, then cut your losses and move on. Good luck.
Reply:Does she have an eating disorder...the mood swings, control issues and her being very thin and worried about her weight sound like she may have a disorder
Reply:Sounds like she has a series of anxiety issues. She wants things perfect all of the time and stresses of everything, sounds like OCD. She also seems to have issues with intimacy, sharing her space and marriage in general. Sex isn't the top issue in a happy marriage but it is no. 1 or 2 in an unhappy one.



Your marriage is in trouble. seek counseling immediately and give it every chance to work. If it doesn't, be prepared to take action.
Reply:Hmmm...something's eating away at her that's causing her to be like this. Listen to her more often - not just hear her talking and eventually tune out what she's saying cuz she's moaning - really HEAR her...she needs to feel heard.



If what she says is anything you have control over, then try to help make it better for her. Otherwise; just listen to her vent.



Trust me. ;)
Reply:See if she will agree to marriage counseling. Getting some on the side is NOT going to solve anything. It will only create more problems.



If counseling doesn't pan out, then consider a separation or divorce.
Reply:Sounds like she's suffering from depression .She needs to see a therapist. Tell her she must go for the sake of your marriage! Good Luck!
Reply:I'm an extremly light sleeper myself - so I know the torture that can cause... but, is she actually meeting any of YOUR needs? She's got issues. Give her some space and a chance to realize that a relationship is about TWO people. .
Reply:Well there is only one way to find out the truth about whats going on you have to look at the problem on a good level and on the bad level of everything that goes wrong.

I dont think your marriage is unhappy maybe she is a little unhappy with the way things are going could she be pregnant are the kids causing her some stress that you may not know about {if any kids are involved} maybe there is something in the house that causes this. on the bad level could there be someone else ? Maybe she doesnt want to be married to you anymore and is pissing you off so you want a divorce. Maybe the little things you dont do are what means the most to her. You two should really talk things out and find out whats the problem.



I can be the same way with my husband and i dont do this on purpose or anything but we do have a daughter and my day gets realy crazy and some of the little things he does can really upset me alot but we both know from me its just alot of stress.



You need to really try and communicate with her and find out the problem



best of luck
Reply:You mentioned that she's always anxious a couple times there and some other typical symptoms of anxiety disorders and/or depression. Therapy and possibly medications would help if not cure here completely. Ask her if she'll see the family doctor for a refferal to a psychologist and maybe later a psychiatrist for meds.
Reply:Your wife needs to see a therapist. Seriously.
Reply:If you ask the question, then you know it isn't right. By catering to her unrealistic whims, you are enabling her to treat you like a slave. In what reality should you have to tip toe around YOUR home? And it is your home too. She is being unbelievably selfish. Most people I know have a wonderful sex life....messy or not......She sounds like a control freak and she needs to get therapy....Sorry I am not being mean but her bad behavior is out of control.
Reply:Potzie you have one miserable marriage,and you better realize it soon or you are going to loose your mind.I don't think counseling will help in this case.Your wife should live alone and single.Start thinking DIVORCE,

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