First time stand up comedy!!?

Im 17 and will be performing stand up on next monday. here are the jokes that i am using.



When you first start driving its weird that parents always have an excuse when you want to drive "mom can i drive?" "ugh...(act out going to corner of stage hitting the ground and kicking) "ohh im sorry ..the baby just woke up..you cant drive" each parent has a different excuse. "mom can i back the car down the driveway?" oh no you might hit the flower bed. "dad can i back the car down the driveway?" YOU MIGHT HIT MY PAPER!!!

I was a weird kid, my kindegarden teacher told me i was going to be a preacher because I talked so much. So when i heard this, everyday at recess on the playground i was (preacher voice) "Ever since i was a toddler i have always used crayola crayons because they were the brightest crayons and they never broke!!!! Now can i get a scooby Doo?!!

First time stand up comedy!!?
sorta funny... lol try harder tho
Reply:ya

its okai?

i think you'll be a good comic...

now help me with my question

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

thanx
Reply:Change a few things up. I don't mean to be mean, but it wasn't really funny in a few places
Reply:uh no. i don't understand. make it with more voice so the listenr can interpret what ur saying. =D