Why do normal people go crazy when a wedding is announced?

Why is it when someone gets married people get all crazy with etiquette ect.. I understand tradition and rules to keep stuff orderly, but I have family member who eats on paper plates everyday, but think it is the worst think in the world if there is not a cocktail hour for a wedding. Why do people get all bent out of shape if there are 5 groomsman and 4 bridesmaids or two ring bears and one flower girl? Or if the couple want to save money and does not offer a split menu? If you come to my house for dinner I will offer you one entrée? Why can’t people say this is a young couple starting about and who cares what they do as long as the wedding is fun ( and not tacky)?

Why do normal people go crazy when a wedding is announced?
I know what you're saying...etiquette gets misused. It's supposed to be there to keep the wedding party from turning into a big grab-all-you-can for gifts and cash and make sure everyone gets properly thanked for their generosity. But some people see it as anything less than the utmost expensive will equal tacky, and that's just not what etiquette is supposed to mean! Some of the most loving, meaningful weddings have *gasp* uneven numbers of bridesmaids and groomsmen, or the bride wears white even though it's her second wedding.



I think as long as people keep the meaning in mind - that it's a day to celebrate your love, not to show the world you have money or that you demand gifts for the privilege of seeing you get married - there's a lot of leeway for the details.



EDIT: I wanted to add that there are also good reasons for etiquette - there was a girl on here yesterday who said she didn't want to invite her future in-laws because she doesn't know them and she thought her MIL was being bossy. It's amazing there are people out there who would think it's okay to exclude the groom's family from the wedding just because she doesn't like them or know them, but for people like that, there's etiquette - you can't just not invite your MIL to the wedding unless she's an axe murderer!
Reply:Put your deaf ears on and do what is best for you and your husband. Its not about making someone else happy. Make yourself happy first!
Reply:i dont know, half of the people that worry about etiquette for weddings dont have a clue how to apply it to their regular lives. i am so tired of hearing about people thinking things are tacky, it is a matter of taste. i think people should try to focus their energy and opinions on bettering themselves rather then trying to rain on other peoples parades.
Reply:Everyone wants to put in their two cents when it comes to weddings. And when they're not paying for it, they expect the most elaborate and expensive things possible.
Reply:Actually, the whole etiquette thing is pretty easy going and forgiving if you're going by Miss Manners or Emily Post. It's when you start taking your guidance from The Wedding Industry that you hear etiquette "rules" like:

Everybody has to dress alike and form matched pairs.

You must serve alcohol, preferably open bar.

You must pay extra to have a split menu.

It will "look funny" if you don't have a matching program, guest book, favor/cardholder set.



You notice how these phoney rules all require you to BUY something?



"Miss Manners' advice to young brides is to plan weddings that will be pretty and festive, but not to attempt to make them grand on a scale unrelated to the rest of their lives ... A warning that one has strayed too far afield is an excessive preoccupation with everything's being done 'right.'"



So here you have it from the Goddess of Etiquette herself. Good etiquette is about being mindful of your guests', your attendent's, and your families' comfort and convenience, NOT about whether you can serve champagne in plastic cups. Now relax. It's just a party.
Reply:Hear hear!

That is why our wedding will be what we want it to be and not what is expected of us.
Reply:People like to give their opinions on things that are none of their business. Unfortunately it is not exclusive to weddings.



The uneven wedding parties thing makes me laugh. I would think it would be a lot worse (when it comes to etiquette) to ask someone to be in your wedding party so you could meet a certain number.



I agree with you - as long as it's not tacky who cares?
Reply:Some people think that having an opinion about your wedding make them look like they care more for you...I know I would prefer them to just be happy...



General rule of thumb...If they are paying they can give you Advice(not plan it) and you have to explain why your not using it and if they are not then you still have to listen to their advice but you don't have to explain why you don't take it.

Make sure you get what you want...but don't be afraid to use the ideas you are given under these two circumstances.

1) you agree with the advice

2) you don't care what ends up happening in the various topic that the advice is about (you don't care if it is cream or white; then use the advice that is given)



Good luck and relax it is a happy time

http://navillus99.blogspot.com
Reply:im ignoring those people. I look at it this way, i really want all these people to celebrate our day, but in the end it is just that OUR DAY! So they are more then welcome to their opinions, however im not listening. Plus we meaning my fi and i are paying for everything.
Reply:i wish people are crazy! i have people that are just not classy at all and they have trown out the word etiquette when talking about my wedding.
Reply:I agree. I had a very traditional but relaxed wedding. The ceremony was beautiful and the reception was full of celebration. The DJ actually said that he had never seen so many diverse people on one dance floor....my husband even danced with my grandma. It was elegant, yet relaxed. Everyone felt welcomed to have fun rather than worrying about which fork they used.